For some people, the holidays can’t come soon enough. For others, the decorations going up are the first reminder of a season they’d rather get through quickly.

Maybe this year looks different after a loss, a breakup, or a change in your family. Maybe gatherings bring uncomfortable expectations. Or maybe you’re exhausted by the pressure to appear happy when that isn’t how you feel.

In a recent conversation, Gravity Counseling’s Shannon Miller talked about the idea behind her Surviving the Holidays group: making room for those experiences and finding ways to approach the season with more support, more choice, and a little less distress.

One of the themes she’ll explore is simple: “The holidays are different, not ruined.”

When the season brings more than celebration

Holiday stress doesn’t look the same for everyone. Shannon described experiences ranging from grief and painful memories to demanding work schedules and difficult family relationships.

And the challenge often extends well beyond a single gathering. Holiday music, decorations, advertisements, and traditions can bring the same feelings back throughout the season.

“It’s not just a one-day get through it,” Shannon explained. “It’s everywhere.”

That can feel especially lonely when the people around you seem excited. You might feel pressure to participate, keep things light, or hide what’s happening because you don’t want to affect anyone else’s celebration.

Shannon’s message is that you don’t need to feel joyful all the time to deserve understanding and support.

Start with one person who understands

When it feels difficult to explain what you’re going through, Shannon suggests starting with someone you trust.

You don’t have to share every detail. It might be enough to say that this season is hard and that you’re trying. During the conversation, she offered words someone could use:

“It’s not that I wanna be sad. It’s just this is a hard season for me, and I wanna share that with you.”

That person might be a family member, a friend, or someone in a group who recognizes the experience.

Shannon also acknowledged that some people won’t understand. Being open can feel risky, and you may not get the response you hoped for. That’s part of why she emphasizes being kind to yourself rather than treating someone else’s reaction as a measure of whether your feelings are valid.

Give yourself permission to do less

One of the planned group sessions focuses on boundaries and “permission to do less.”

The expectations around the holidays can make it difficult to recognize your own limits. You may feel responsible for showing up, maintaining traditions, or keeping everyone else comfortable, even when you’re struggling.

Shannon’s approach makes room to consider what you need, too. That could include communicating that something is difficult or giving yourself permission to step away from an overwhelming situation.

You may not be able to make everyone understand your choices. In the discussion about navigating substance-use triggers at family gatherings, Shannon described giving yourself “permission to be misunderstood” when you need to step away.

A place where you don’t have to pretend

Shannon wanted to offer a group for people who may not have someone in their lives who understands why the holidays are hard.

Alongside the topics she’ll introduce, participants bring their own perspectives. Someone else may describe a familiar feeling, share an insight, or simply help you recognize that you aren’t the only person experiencing the season this way.

“Even the people showing up are equally as valuable as the stuff that’s being taught,” Shannon said.

The group also creates space to talk honestly without the expectation that everyone should be happy about the holidays.

What to expect from Surviving the Holidays

Shannon outlined four sessions, each with a different focus:

  • Rewriting My Holiday Story: Exploring the idea that the holidays can be different without being ruined.
  • Decorating My Coping Toolbox: Building strength for difficult days.
  • Letting Go and Setting Boundaries: Giving yourself permission to do less.
  • Hope, Meaning, and Moving Forward: Considering what a more peaceful season could look like for you.

Attending all four sessions is recommended, but Shannon explained that participants can attend individual sessions. Each week has its own topic and something to take away.

The goal isn’t to erase painful experiences or expect yourself to suddenly enjoy everything about the season. It’s to explore what could make it more manageable, even if the change is small.

As Shannon shared near the end of the conversation, “It can’t take away pain, but we can kind of find new ways to approach it.”

Interested in joining Surviving the Holidays at Gravity Counseling?

The group meets on November 9 and 16 and December 7 and 14, 2026, from 4:00–5:30 p.m. Mountain Time, at 8795 Ralston Road, Suite 110, Arvada, CO 80002.

Private pay is $50 per session. Insurance is accepted; check coverage with the practice. You can request individual sessions or all four.

View group details and request a place. The practice will follow up with you; submitting the form does not confirm a reservation.